Puzzle 1

[eightlazylegs]

[ACTION]

[There is an octopus sitting in the town fountain. He's white as the inside of a clamshell, curled up in the smallest corner he can find. It takes him a few minutes to trust the world enough to cautiously slip up to the surface and crawl out of the water. His new wings flick away droplets of water, causing him to shuffle around to get a glimpse of what's attached itself to him.]

What?

[It's bone and muscle and feathers, and it's none of the things an octopus should have. A delicate tug indicates they can't just be yanked off. Hermes spits out a jet of water and turns back to see where he is.]

...what.

[This is not Chicago. It's not even the parkish bits of Chicago that he's seen out of car windows. This is all wrong. Hermes switches from nervous white to irritated yellow, his tentacles curling.] What. Where? What? What?! [Where is his apartment? What put him here? What is with the wings? What what what what.]

[VIDEO]

[Hermes has chilled out and returned to a comfortable woodsy brown. He's sitting on the rim of a filled bathtub, with the screen propped up on the lid of the toilet.]

Have apartment, but apartment insufficient for octopus. Furniture and movers required. First requirement: tank. [He moves his tentacles to indicate a rectangle shape.] Large fishtank. Also hose and pump for emptying and refilling. Bathtub leaks out drain, is located inconveniently.

[Hermes gestures to himself. If one compares him to the tub for a sense of scale, it's obvious that he's only a foot high.] Cannot carry by myself. Food, toys, also need in future, but tank is largest. Will trade goods or services for tank and tank-moving. Make offer.

Comments

[video]

[all7seas]

[Hmmmmm what's this? An octopus! Rather like Fabio, but much more articulate. Knows what he wants. Understands the most important thing everyone should know about bathtubs. A straight-shooter, is what. A lad.

And, as Jack well knows, he possesses the ability to fit into tiny spaces. Has lots of tentacles. This could come in quite handy indeed, especially where marauding is concerned. And now that Murray is gone and he is sidekickless...]




What say you, boyo, to cutting a deal for this tank-moving?

[eightlazylegs]

Can cut.

[Hermes leans in, trying to see what this new human is. The dreadlocks remind him of his owner.] Look like Boss. Are pothead? Have no pot but can get maybe.

oiehslknset THAT ICON HOW DAPPER

[all7seas]

Pot? [He is not familiar with this terminology, Octopus.] Oh, I bet you can get lots of things. But I want things what are much more shinier than pots.

[eightlazylegs]

[It's true, pot isn't shiny at all. Hermes has never seen the appeal and the stuff does reek. He crawls closer to the screen, skin turning soft purple.]

What want?

[video]

[abidinglaw]

[What alarms Norrington rather more than this talking octopus is the fact he himself didn't immediately assume that the whole event was a blasted hoax from the get go. It still probably isn't. And wasn't he just thinking a few days ago that a speech-capable cephalopod was exactly what he needed in his life? No. Damn its eyes.

Unfortunately, this would be far too easy a prank to pull off. The possibility cannot be ignored. And so:]

I suppose you think to take us all for suckers.

[Is Norrington joking? He doesn't sound like he's joking.]

[eightlazylegs]

[Hermes narrows his damned eyes.] Pun unappreciated. Deal or no deal?

[abidinglaw]

[From the admiral's expression it would be easy to suspect not only that the octopus had come up with the pun, but that it was utterly utterly distasteful to boot. As though James Norrington had presented a pristine tomato soup, only for this beast to point out a fly which had moments ago landed square in its center and was even now attempting to paddle to the edges of the bowl.]

"Deal."

[How else would he learn the truth of this? Not over the journals, that much was certain.]

[eightlazylegs]

Make offer. How get tank and supplies here? What in return?

[Hermes folds his tentacles comfortably around himself, as a human might lean back and put their feet on the coffee table.]

action

[chirpchirp]

[the traveler was running through town when it saw a jet of water shoot out from the fountain. unable to contain curiosity, it abruptly changes directions and heads over to the fountain, careful not to get too close in case something gets it wet. it stops a foot away, tilting its head at the strange creature it sees there.

what is it???]

♪?

Re: action

[eightlazylegs]

[Hermes would ask the same. He fades into the same color as the fountain, watching this thing suspiciously.] What is? Where are?

Re: action

[chirpchirp]

[whoooooa it disappeared!! the traveler trills like a violin and moves closer, running back and forth, trying to find the strange creature with a million legs!! where are you?? where did you goooo????]

[eightlazylegs]

[Mostly disappeared. Hermes hasn't quite figured out that his green/grey speckled wings don't change with the rest of him. His eyes follow the traveler back and forth.]

Can talk or are stupid?

[idealism]

[...]


[......]

Octopus.

[eightlazylegs]

Yes. Is. [Duh.] Deal?

[idealism]

Oh, I didn't mean it like that. Just.

[He'll never be able to eat seafood again.]

....Can you switch colors?

[eightlazylegs]

[Good. More for Hermes. His color shifts to a bright red.]

Get biscuit?

[His irritated tone indicates that he does not actually think he's getting a biscuit for this.]

[Action]

[weakahoshi]

[Hey Hermes. There's a pink mermaid all up in your fountain.]

Oh! S- Surume-sama, is that you?

[She might have mistaken you for someone else, though.]

[eightlazylegs]

No. Is Hermes. [He turns about again, analyzing this...thing. It's a human, which means caution, but it's talking to him instead of about him, which means it's probably not hostile.] Where?

[weakahoshi]

H- Hermes-sama?

[She has to think for a bit. Nope. Don't know him.]

It's nice to meet you, Hermes-sama! My name is Shirahoshi.

[Have you noticed that she's under the water with you? Completely submerged and not thinking anything of it.]

You're in a place called Luceti. It's... um. [Terrifying] Nice.

[Voice]

[semper_cogitans]

[This... this is a sapient octopus.

In a way Robert is not actually too surprised about this. Cephalopods, even on Terra, are quite intelligent. But still, an outright sapient, who can vocalize - that, that is new. That is very new, actually.

Some pang of memory shoots through him. The residential dirigible jellies would love this one.]

... I am a-afraid that... such provisions may be, er, d-difficult to attain...

There is an o-oceanic environment in Luceti, though it is... r-rather expansive. And... I am not so c-certain your journal would... be very usable there...

[Yes, he talks a lot, Hermes. Sorry about that.]

[eightlazylegs]

Have seen. Ocean hazardous, tank secure. Why difficult?

[Journal shmournal, it doesn't even have internet access.]

[semper_cogitans]

[Legitimate points, yes. Robert's still not sure what lurks in Luceti's oceans, but knowing the Malnosso, they'll probably throw in whatever they want.]

Luceti... is n-not known for being particularly... accomodating to its... non-human sapient r-residents...

... Unfortunately, this... o-often leads to situations in which we... are l-left to our own devices to procure some... sort of s-substitution. Though, perhaps one could... m-make an argument for your case...

[After all, if this octopus is that small, it shouldn't be too hard to spare a single tank, right?]

[Voice]

[knightofratatosk]

A talking... octopus?

[He's seen a lot of talking animals in Luceti so far, but this one kind of takes the cake.]

Re: [Voice]

[eightlazylegs]

Get that a lot. Should get business cards, hand out.

[Voice]

[knightofratatosk]

Um, right... anyway, I'm Emil. What's your name?